<< Previous | Index | Next >>"THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY" The Sanctity Of Marriage INTRODUCTION 1. Marriage as an institution today is struggling... a. Many seek to redefine what constitutes a marriage b. We hear of same-sex marriages, open marriages, polygamy, polyandry, polyamory c. Others decry marriage altogether, preferring simple cohabitation d. Many joke about it: "Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who would want to live in an institution?" - Henry Mencken 2. The family as an institution today is struggling... a. Husbands and wives often suffer strained relationships b. Parents and children are frequently at odds with one another c. Much misery in life is due to dysfunctional family relations d. Some prefer that government assume the role of raising children 3. I believe much of the problem is due to self-centeredness in our society... a. People are told to "look out for #1" in all their relations (business, family, etc.) b. Thus many enter marriage and start families with selfish attitudes c. Yet no relationship can exist peacefully and lovingly with selfish participants 4. The Bible has much to say about marriage and family... a. Especially in the teachings of Jesus and His apostles b. That has helped many to have long-lasting, fulfilling relationships c. Which can affect both our temporal and eternal happiness [In this series of lessons, we shall consider what Jesus and His apostles taught concerning the Christian home and family. I believe a good place to start is by affirming "The Sanctity Of Marriage"...] I. THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE DEFINED A. THE MEANING OF SANCTITY... 1. Sanctity is defined as the quality of being holy, sacred 2. Thus it is common to speak of "holy matrimony" (i.e., sacred marriage) B. THE SACREDNESS OF MARRIAGE... 1. Marriage is one of the holiest of relations two people can have 2. Marriage is a bond created by God Himself, thus we must treat it as sacred 3. Marriage is not something to be entered into lightly 4. "Our nation must defend the sanctity of marriage." - President George W. Bush [Is the idea of marriage as a sacred union a Biblical concept? What did Jesus and His apostles say about it...?] II. THE SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE DELINEATED A. MARRIAGE WAS INSTITUTED BY GOD... 1. From the very beginning, following the Creation - Mt 19:3-4; cf. Gen 2:18-24 2. Designed for those created as male and female - Mt 19:4 3. Whose union becomes "one flesh" (produce offspring) - Mt 19:5 -- Marriage is not a creation of the state, but of God Himself! B. MARRIAGE IS REGULATED BY JESUS... 1. Jesus has been given all authority, will be our Judge in all things - Mt 28:18; 2Co 5:10 2. He taught that man may try to put asunder, but only God puts asunder - Mt 19:7-9 a. One may legally divorce and remarry, but adultery can still occur - Mt 5:31-32 b. God allows divorce only for fornication, and remarriage by the innocent - Mt 19:9 3. He taught some might have to remain celibate ("make themselves eunuchs") for the sake of the kingdom of heaven - Mt 19:11-12 a. Perhaps because they had been divorced for adultery or unlawfully married b. Or because they were single by choice, or never asked to be married 4. His apostle Paul had more to say concerning marriage a. Marriage is for life; marrying another while one’s spouse is alive is adultery - Ro 7:1-4 b. Each person is to have his or her own spouse, not shared - 1Co 7:2 c. Husbands and wives have certain duties toward one another - 1Co 7:3-5 d. One is not to divorce; if divorced, must remain single or return to spouse - 1Co 7:10-11 e. If an unbelieving spouse departs, a believer is not obligated to fulfill marital duties (but that does not necessarily imply they are free to remarry) - cf. 1Co 7:3-5, 12-16 -- Jesus as Lord over all is the final Arbiter regarding marriage! C. MARRIAGE IS RESERVED FOR INTIMACY... 1. The only proper relationship for sexual intimacy (intercourse) is marriage - He 13:4 a. Not before the wedding, during courtship, but only after the wedding b. Greatly simplifying the perennial question: "When is the right time?" 2. Sex outside marriage (between a man and a woman) is fornication a. Fornication includes pre-marital, extra-marital, or same-sex relations b. Such conduct can keep one out of the kingdom of God - cf. 1Co 6:9-10 3. Sex outside marriage is not without physical and psychological consequence a. Even casual "hookups" deeply affect the brain and our emotions - cf. 1Co 6:16 b. Chemical reactions in the body occur that lead to bonding, even addiction (this is not even considering the consequences of STDs!) c. Leading to an increase of depression and suicide when there is no marriage - Heritage Foundation, 2003 d. 25.3% of sexually active teenage girls experienced depression, compared to 7.7% of sexually abstinent girls - ibid. e. 14.3% of sexually active girls attempted suicide, compared to 5.1% of their virgin peers - ibid. f. For more, read this: There Is Nothing Brief About A Hookup 4. Pre-marital sex endangers having a successful marriage a. The national divorce rate in the United States is over 40 percent - National Survey Of Family Growth b. Couples who wait to have sex until marriage - and remain faithful - have a divorce rate of only 20 percent - ibid. c. Couples who have more sexual partners prior to or outside of marriage have a much higher rate of divorce - ibid. d. Those who have as many as five partners have only a 30 percent chance that their marriage will not end in divorce - ibid. 5. A successful marriage requires mutual respect and trust a. Courtship is the time to build respect and trust which will strengthen your marriage b. If your potential spouse will sin with you before you marry... c. ...what assurance do you have they will not sin against you after you marry? -- The sanctity of marriage is preserved when it alone is the realm of sexual intimacy! CONCLUSION 1. Marriage is not an institution... a. Created and designed by man or the state b. Subject to alteration by societal whims 2. Marriage is a sacred institution... a. Instituted by God in the beginning b. Regulated by Jesus and His apostles in the Word of God c. Reserved for sexual intimacy between a man and a women 3. Marriage is a successful institution... a. When we follow the Biblical injunctions concerning it b. When members of the family fulfill their proper roles We shall consider those injunctions, starting with the duties of husbands in our next lesson. In the meantime, some food for thought from an uninspired (though wise) perspective... The 10 Commandments of Successful Marriage Judge Joseph Sabbath, after twenty year’s experience in presiding over what he called "the nightmare world of the divorce courts," framed ten commandments of a successful marriage which, he predicted, could prevent at least ninety percent of marital smash-ups: 1. Bear and forbear. 2. Work together, play together, and grow up together. 3. Avoid the little quarrels, and the big ones will take care of themselves. 4. Compromise (give and take). It is the antitoxin of divorce. 5. Practice sympathy, good humor and mutual understanding. 6. Don’t grouch before breakfast or after it. 7. Respect your "in-laws," but don’t criticize them or take criticism from them. 8. Establish your own home, even in a one room flat. 9. Fight for each other, but not with each other. 10. Build your home on religious faith, with love and forgiveness as the watchword.<< Previous | Index | Next >>
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