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                    "THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY"

                          The Duties Of Wives

INTRODUCTION

1. Marriage as a sacred institution joins together a man and a woman...
   a. Husband and wife in holy matrimony
   b. Each with their God-given duties to one another

2. Previously, we considered the duties of husbands, who are
   commanded...
   a. Love their wives
   b. Respect their wives
   c. Support their wives

[Now letis consider what the inspired apostles of Christ taught were the
duties of wives, beginning with one that seems to offend many today...]

I. SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBANDS!

   A. DEFINING THE WORD "SUBMIT"...
      1. The Greek word is hupotasso - to subordinate, to obey
      2. To be under obedience, in subjection to, submit self unto
         - Strong's
      3. To submit to the orders or directives of someone - Louw Nida
      4. An example:  Jesus submitting to the will of His Father - Jn
         6:38

   B. WIVES ARE TO SUBMIT TO THEIR HUSBANDS...
      1. As the church submits to Christ, in everything - Ep 5:22-24
         a. Presuming that it is in keeping with the will of God - Ac
            5:29
         b. For husbands must not abuse their authority - 1Pe 3:7
         c. Indeed, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the
            church - Ep 5:25-27
      2. Even as Christians wives are to submit to:
         a. God - Jm 4:17
         b. The government - Ro 13:1-5; 1Pe 2:13-15
         c. Their masters - 1Pe 2:18; 3:1
         d. Their elders - He 13:17; 1Pe 5:5
         e. One another - 1Pe 5:5; Ep 5:21
      3. Without nagging, with gentleness and quietness - 1Pe 3:1-4
      4. With respect, even as Sarah respected Abraham - 1Pe 3:5-6; cf.
         Ep 5:33

   C. WHEN WIVES FAIL TO SUBMIT...
      1. It is not fitting in the Lord - Col 3:18
         a. Grk., aneko - to pertain to what is due, duty, as was
            fitting
         b. In keeping with Jesus' own teaching and example - cf. Mt
            20:25-28
      2. The family unit will often be in turmoil
         a. To have a social organization that is functional, you must
            have some chain of authority
         b. God is the head of Christ, Christ the head of man, man the
            head of woman - 1Co 11:3
         c. In the family, it is Godis Will the husband be the head of
            the wife, and that parents be over their children
            - otherwise, the family will be dysfunctional
      3. God will not be gracious to them - 1Pe 5:5
         a. God gives grace to those who humbly submit
         b. He will not grant favor to those who proudly resist His will
         c. Just the prayers of a husband who mistreats and disrespects
            his wife are hindered, so the prayers of a wife who refuses
            to submit to her husband! - cf. 1Pe 3:7
      4. It may even have a bearing on the sexual orientation of the
         children!
         a. A study by Dr. Irving Bieber was made of the family
            background of 106 male homosexuals
         b. Dr. Bieber found that 81 mothers were dominating
         -- What Everyone Should Know About Homosexuality, LaHaye, p.
            71-72

[Sadly, lives are ruined when people wonit listen to the teachings of
Jesus and His apostles.  Wives need to submit to their husbands, just as
Christians are to submit to Christ.  Another admonition...]

II. LOVE YOUR HUSBANDS!

   A. WITH AFFECTION...
      1. "admonish the young women to love their husbands" - Tit 2:4
         a. Grk., philandrous - "fond of man, i.e. affectionate as a
            wife" - Strong's
         b. "pertaining to having affection for a husband --'having love
            for one's husband, having affection for oneis husband.'"
            - Louw-Nida
      2. This affection is something that can be taught (learned); if
         needed, seek advice from a mature sister in Christ - Tit 2:3-4

   B. WITH INTIMACY...
      1. To prevent unfaithfulness - 1Co 7:2
      2. Rendering affection properly due, not withholding marital
         rights- 1Co 7:3-4
      3. Abstaining only with mutual consent, for the purpose of prayer
         - 1Co 7:5

[Just as husbands are commanded to love their wives, so the wives are
commanded to love their husbands.  If the original love has been lost,
it needs to be re-learned!  Finally, wives must...]

III. MANAGE THE HOME!

   A. AS HOMEMAKERS...
      1. "to be discrete, chaste, homemakers, good" - Tit 2:5
         a. Grk., oikourous - "a stayer at home, i.e. domestically
            inclined" - Strong's
         b. "one who works in the home - 'one who takes care of the
            home, homemaker.'" - Louw-Nida
      2. "manage the house" - 1Ti 5:14
         a. Grk., oikodespoteo - to be the head of (i.e. rule) a family:
            guide the house - Strong's
         b. "to command and give leadership to a household -- eto direct
            a household, to manage a home.i" - Louw-Nida
      3. This also can be learned from older sisters in Christ - Tit
         2:3-5

   B. AS MOTHERS...
      1. Note the instructions for young widows: "marry, bear children"
         - 1Ti 5:14
         a. Grk., teknogoneo - "to be a child-bearer, i.e. parent
            (mother)" - Strong's
         b. "to give birth to a child" - Louw-Nida
      2. The primary design of marriage is to start a family; if a young
         wife is unable to bear a child, adoption if certainly a viable
         and wonderful option!

CONCLUSION

1. The Christian wife is a woman who...
   a. Submits to her husband with respect
   b. Loves her husband with affection
   c. Manages her home and her children

2. This is because the Christian wife is a woman who...
   a. Is a Christian first, and a wife second
   b. Gladly accepts the Biblical injunctions given her as a wife
   c. Looks to the Word of God and prayer for the strength she needs to
      fulfill her duty

3. When a woman is a Christian wife...
   a. She is more likely loved and respected by her husband
   b. She is more likely the sort of wife she should be
   c. The children are more likely as they should be

In our next lesson, we shall  consider the duties of parents.  In the 
meantime, some additional food for thought for wives...

                     The 10 Commandments of Wives

1. Expect not your husband to give you as many luxuries as your father
   has given you after many years of hard labor. (Php 4:11; Am 4:1)

2. You shall work hard to build your house with the husband that you
   have, not fantasizing about "the one that could have been". (Pr 14:1)

3. You shall not nag...hit him with your frying pan, it is kindlier. (Pr
   27:15; 21:19)

4. You shall coddle your husband and be a warm wife. (1Co 7:3-5)

5. Remember that the frank approval of your husband is more to you than
   the side glances of many strangers. (Eze 16:32; 2Pe 2:14)

6. You shall not yell at your husband but will be a gentle and quiet
   spirit. (1Pe 3:1-4)

7. Permit no one to assure you that you are having a hard time of it.
   (1Pe 5:9)

8. You shall not fail to dress up for your husband with an eye to please
   him, as you did before marriage. (So 4:9-11)

9. You shall submit to your husband from your heart and allow him to be
   head of the household. (Col 3:18; 1Pe 3:6; Ep 5:33)

10. You shall assure your husband and others that he is the greatest man
    alive. (Php 2:3; So 5:9-16)
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