<< Previous | Index | Next >>"PROVERBS AND THE CHRISTIAN" Wisdom In Being A Good Spouse INTRODUCTION 1. We saw in our last lesson that "The Book Of Proverbs" can be a helpful guide in giving us wisdom for SELECTING a good spouse 2. In this study, I want to continue to illustrate the value of this book by considering what it says about BEING a good spouse 3. The importance of such a subject should be evident: a. Our happiness in this life is greatly affected by how successful we are in our marriage relationships b. Even our usefulness to the Lord is affected by the relationship husbands and wives have to one another; e.g., a husband's prayers can be hindered by his treatment of his wife - 1Pe 3:7 [Appreciating the importance of this subject, then, consider first that beautiful passage in Pr 31:10-31 where we find...] I. HOW TO BE A GOOD WIFE A. THE IDEAL WIFE... 1. Is TRUSTWORTHY and DEPENDABLE - Pr 31:11 a. The husband can safely entrust her with his "income" b. She will not squander what he gives her, but use it in a manner that benefits them both 2. Is filled with AN ENDURING LOVE - Pr 31:12 a. Devoted to doing her husband good all her life b. Just as she vowed in the wedding ceremony 3. Has DEVELOPED PRACTICAL SKILLS a. Such as sewing - Pr 31:13,21-22 b. And cooking - Pr 31:14-15 4. Is INDUSTRIOUS - Pr 31:16-19,24 a. This often raises a question: Can a mother work outside the home? b. The virtuous woman in this passage evidently did, to some degree 1) She bought land and worked on it 2) She made clothing and sold it in the marketplace c. In answering the question today, one should consider several things: 1) Can she do it without neglecting her responsibilities as a wife and mother? - 1Ti 5:14; Tit 2:4-5 a) Some women can, others cannot b) Just as some men are multi-talented, and others not c) If a woman is unable to do both, her responsibility is first to fulfill her God-given duties 2) Is it essential? a) There may be times when even the "one-talent" woman has no choice, but must work outside the home to provide income for the family b) But often times it is not a necessity, but only a desire for luxuries that prompt many women to work outside the home c) If that is the case, heed should be given to 1Ti 6: 8-10 3) Is the extra income worth what it might cost the children? a) Some studies have indicated that children of mothers who work out of the home suffer greatly 1/ They are more likely to suffer academically - from Chicago Tribune's women's writer Joan Beck: a/ "Would mothers of very young children be willing to work full time outside the home if they knew it could lower their youngsters intelligence measurably?... b/ "Evidence continues to pile up that the role a mother plays in the life of her child during the first three years of life has a crucial, lasting effect on his intelligence. And the components of this relationship include critical elements which cannot easily be supplied by mother substitutes or day-care centers... c/ "Newest bits of evidence linking a young child's intelligence with the quality of mothering and the amount of mental stimulation in the home comes from the Journal of Educational Psychology. It reports new studies showing that for both black and white youngsters the quality of early home life is much more closely related to mental test scores later on than such other factors as socio-economic status. d/ "These finds on the effects of early learning and mothering back up other continuing studies on babies and toddlers at Harvard and elsewhere. All show consistently that intelligence, competence, and creativity develop best when a young child has plenty of stimulating things to do and a mother nearby to keep feeding him appropriate words almost continually. e/ "It isn't the kind of mothering you can concentrate into a grudging, tired hour after a full day of work outside the home." - Joan Beck, "Mothers May Have To Weigh Job Vs. Tot I.Q.," Fort Worth Star-Telegram, 11 April 1978 2/ They are more likely to suffer attitudinal problems - "D. Farran of the University of North Carolina reports that day-care children display negative aggressive acts fifteen times as often as home-care children." - Moody Monthly 3/84 b) Is it worth sacrificing the children, simply for material gratification? 5. Is COMPASSIONATE - Pr 31:20 -- She cares not only for her own family, but for the less fortunate as well 6. Is concerned with DEVELOPING THE INNER PERSON - Pr 31:25 a. Character matters, and she has developed a strong one b. Just as Peter stressed in 1Pe 3:3-4 7. SPEAKS WORDS OF WISDOM & KINDNESS - Pr 31:26 a. She is thus concerned about what proceeds from her mouth b. Just as Paul stressed in Ep 4:29 8. DILIGENTLY SEES TO THE NEED OF HER FAMILY - Pr 31:27 a. Makes whatever preparation necessary - cf. Pr 31:15 b. So that her family does not go in want - cf. Pr 31:21 9. Is one who FEARS THE LORD - Pr 31:29-30 a. She understands that this quality is more important and praiseworthy than physical beauty b. With the fear of the Lord, she has the potential for great wisdom - Pr 1:7 B. BRIEFLY, WHAT A WIFE DOES NOT WANT TO BE... 1. Contentious - cf. Pr 21:9,19 2. Hateful - Pr 30:21-23 -- Both characteristics can make it where the husband does not want to be around her [Enough about being a good wife; where can we go in "The Book Of Proverbs" to learn...] II. HOW TO BE A GOOD HUSBAND A. WHERE IS THE PASSAGE DESCRIBING "THE VIRTUOUS MAN"? 1. A question often raised by women, sometimes suggesting there is none 2. But it may help to bear in mind that the Proverbs are primarily addressed to the man! a. The entire book contains advice, which if followed, would make a husband any woman would be proud to have b. Whereas there is half a chapter describing the "virtuous woman", there are thirty and a half chapters describing the "virtuous man"! B. HERE ARE JUST A FEW THOUGHTS TAKEN FROM THE PROVERBS... 1. From Pr 31:31 a. Allow your wife the opportunity to develop her own abilities b. Let her reap the benefits of her own labors c. I.e., don't treat her simply as an appendage of yourself 2. From Pr 31:28b-29 a. Be sure to praise her frequently b. Don't take her for granted 3. From Pr 31:11 a. Demonstrate a willingness to trust her b. In such areas as her intelligence, her faithfulness, her abilities c. Don't be jealous and suspicious 4. From Pr 5:15-21 a. Be content with your wife's love b. It will save you and your family much harm CONCLUSION 1. The importance of using wisdom in building healthy family relationship is described in Pr 11:29... "He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind," 2. So much of the joy and meaning of life that God would have us enjoy is lost if there is not a good family life. As Solomon wrote in Ec 9:9... "Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; for that is your portion in life, and in the labor which you perform under the sun." 3. "The Book Of Proverbs" can also guide us in developing wholesome families; in our next study we shall consider examples of inspired advice on providing for a family and on raising children But as important as physical families may be, the most important thing in life is to be a member of the family of God, for this can easily fill whatever gaps there may be in our physical families. Have you been "born again" into the family of God? - cf. Jn 3:3-5; Tit 3:5; Mk 16:15-16<< Previous | Index | Next >>
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