"THE BOOK OF PROVERBS"

Wisdom Regarding Marriage (1)

INTRODUCTION
  1. The value of Proverbs is that it provides wisdom from God to guide us in every realm of life
  2. Whether it be family, business, social or spiritual relationships, we find inspired advice that enables us to walk in wisdom, "redeeming the time, because the days are evil" - cf. Ep 5:15-17

[Let's examine what wisdom the Proverbs has to reveal regarding marriage, beginning with...]

  1. THE SELECTION OF A WIFE
    1. THE IMPORTANCE OF MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICE...
      1. Much happiness in life depends upon make the right choice - Pro 12:4
        1. A good choice greatly enhances the life of the husband
        2. But the wrong choice can destroy a man from the inside out!
      2. It is folly to think that a mistake in this area can be easily corrected
        1. Many think divorce can be an easy solution
        2. But God hates divorce and remarriage may not be a viable option for the disciple of Christ - cf. Mal 2:16; Mt 19:8-9
        3. Even when it is, if there are children the selection you made will always be the mother of your children (for better or worse!)
        -- A man needs wisdom from God in choosing whom to marry!
    2. GUIDELINES FOR FINDING A GOOD WIFE...
      1. Seek help from God - Pr 19:14
        1. Success in this venture may depend more upon God than we think!
        2. In view of the seriousness of this matter, dare we go about it alone?
      2. Do not place priority on good looks alone - Pr 31:30
        1. Beauty is skin-deep, temporary, to which we can easily grow accustomed
        2. It is therefore a poor foundation upon which to build a life-long relationship
        3. Sadly, most marriages are built on little more than physical attraction
      3. Instead, look for these characteristics in a woman:
        1. The fear of the Lord - Pr 31:30
          1. Such a woman possesses the beginning of wisdom - Pr 1:7
          2. Having a wife who is a devout Christian should be the primary concern
        2. Discretion - Pr 11:22
          1. This is the ability to do the right thing at the right time
          2. Without this, beauty is worthless, and can even be the object of ridicule (e.g., dumb blonde jokes)
        3. Wisdom - Pr 14:1
          1. With this virtue in a woman, a good home can be built
          2. Without it, efforts by the husband will be undermined by the wife!
      4. Avoid a woman who is contentious (argumentative)!
        1. Picturesque descriptions of such a woman are found in Pro 19:13; 27:15-16
        2. My grandmother (a faithful Christian who as a widow raised six children through the Great Depression, and remained a widow for over fifty years), pointed out these two verses to me when I was a teen-ager: Pr 21:9,19
        -- It is better to be single and alone, than to be married to the wrong person!

      [To be married to a godly woman, however, is a wonderful blessing from the Lord (Pr 18:22). With the aid of Proverbs, we are more likely to find a good spouse. The same is true for women in...]

  2. THE SELECTION OF A HUSBAND
    1. THERE ARE WAYS TO LEARN ABOUT A MAN...
      1. How does he treat animals? This reveals a lot about his character - Pr 12:10
      2. Does he listen to the advice of others? That will tell you whether he is a fool, or a wise person - Pr 12:15
      3. What type of company does he keep? You might be destroyed along with him - Pr 13:20
      4. Is he quick-tempered? That reveals whether he is a person of understanding - Pr 14:29
      5. How does he make money? You will suffer the consequences of his actions - Pr 15:27
      6. Does he feel like he always has to put in his "two-cents" worth? If so, he lacks knowledge and a calm spirit - Pr 17:27-28
      7. Does he have compassion for the poor? If so, his prayers will be answered - Pr 21:13
      -- See how the Proverbs can guide a woman in deciding whom to marry?
    2. MEN TO DEFINITELY AVOID...
      1. A womanizer
        1. He will destroy himself and hurt all those involved - Pr 6:27-29
        2. If he flaunts God's will before he is married, what assurance is there he will not flaunt God's will after he is married?
      2. A quick-tempered man
        1. You will become like him and destroy yourself as well - Pro 22:24-25
        2. Men are usually on their best behavior before marriage, think of what an angry man will be like after marriage!
      3. A drinker
        1. Alcohol has destroyed many good men - Pr 23:29-30
        2. Most husbands become verbally and physically abusive after drinking
        -- Again, it is better to be single and alone, than to be married to the wrong person!
CONCLUSION
  1. Among the most important decisions we make in life will be these two...
    1. With whom shall I spend my life?
      1. Divorce and remarriage is not an option for the faithful Christian - Mt 19:6
      2. With one exception - Mt 19:9
    2. Who shall be the father or mother of my children?
      1. This choice cannot be undone once the children are born
      2. Divorce is a violent action, with long-lasting effects - Mal 2:16
  2. Dare we make such decisions without consulting the wisdom found in God's Word...?
    1. This certainly does not exhaust all that Proverbs has to say about selecting a spouse
    2. But I trust that we see that the Proverbs are extremely practical, worthy of careful study

In our next lesson, we shall consider gems of wisdom in regards to being a good spouse...