"THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY"

The Duties Of Husbands

INTRODUCTION
  1. Our previous lesson argued that marriage is not an institution...
    1. Created and designed by man or the state
    2. Subject to alteration by societal whims
  2. But rather, that marriage is a sacred institution...
    1. Instituted by God in the beginning
    2. Regulated by Jesus and His apostles in the Word of God
    3. Reserved for sexual intimacy between a man and a women
  3. Indeed, marriage is a successful institution...
    1. When we follow the Biblical injunctions concerning it
    2. When members of the family fulfill their proper roles
    3. Preventing marriage and family from becoming an emotional and psychological straitjacket, the proverbial ball and chain, and source of much strife and hurt in one's life

[What are those Biblical injunctions concerning the proper roles of the members of the family? Let's first consider the duties of husbands...]

  1. LOVE YOUR WIVES!
    1. HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES...
      1. As Christ loved the church - Ep 5:25-27,29
        1. He gave Himself for the church!
        2. He nourishes and cherishes the church!
      2. As they love their own bodies - Ep 5:28-29
        1. Which they nourish and cherish
        2. Which they handle with care
      3. Free from bitterness - Col 3:19
        1. That is, resentment or hate
        2. Often accompanied with wrath, anger, clamor, evil speaking - cf. Ep 4:31
    2. HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES...
      1. With "agape" love (active good will)
        1. Which is commanded - Ep 5:25
        2. Which is defined - 1Co 13:4-8
        3. The same sort of love we are to have toward God and all men
      2. With "phileo" love (sentimental, affectionate)
        1. As one would have for his own body - Ep 5:29
        2. As parents would have for their children - cf. Ep 6:4; 1Th 2:7
      3. With "eros" love (sexual)
        1. Joining together as one flesh - Ep 5:31
        2. Providing physical attention and affection due the wife - cf. 1Co 7:2-5

        [Husbands have a duty to love their wives in every way! They also have the duty to...]

  2. RESPECT YOUR WIVES!
    1. BY HOW YOU TREAT THEM...
      1. With understanding - 1Pe 3:7
        1. In an understanding way - ESV
        2. Be considerate - NIV
        3. Learn what makes her "tick", and treat her accordingly
      2. With honor - 1Pe 3:7
        1. Praise her in the gates - cf. Pr 31:28
        2. Put her on a pedestal
        3. Do not ridicule her publicly
      3. As to the weaker vessel - 1Pe 3:7
        1. Not that your wife may actually be the weaker vessel
        2. Many wives are spiritually stronger, some physically stronger
        3. But treat her "as" a weaker vessel (treat her like china, not steel)
        4. Don't be like a bull running wildly in a china shop!
    2. BY HOW YOU VIEW THEM...
      1. As a fellow heir of the grace of life - 1Pe 3:7
        1. For whom Christ died
        2. A beloved sister in Christ, worthy of respect
        3. With whom you hope to spend eternity
      2. As one who affects the efficacy of your prayers! - 1Pe 3:7
        1. How we treat others has a bearing on our prayers - Mk 11:26; Pr 21:13
        2. God will not heed our prayers if we mistreat our wives! - cf. Mal 2:13-16

        [To our duties as husbands to love and respect our wives, let us add one more...]

  3. SUPPORT YOUR WIVES!
    1. BY PROVIDING FOR THE FAMILY...
      1. The husband (and father) has the duty to provide for his family - 1Ti 5:8
      2. Failure to do so is to deny the faith (the doctrine of Christ!) - ibid.
      3. Unbelievers (and most creatures, cf. The March Of The Penguins) provide for their own
      4. A man should not take a wife unless he is willing and able to support her financially
    2. BY LETTING HER CONTRIBUTE...
      1. The virtuous woman contributed much to the support of the family - Pr 31:16-19,24
      2. A wise husband lets her contribute, and to be praised for it! - Pr 31:31
      3. Of course, not to the neglect of her familial duties - cf. Pr 31:21,27; 1Ti 5:14; Tit 2:4-5
CONCLUSION
  1. The Christian husband is a man who...
    1. Loves his wife in every way
    2. Respects his wife by how he treats her and views her
    3. Supports his wife financially, emotionally, and spiritually
  2. This is because the Christian husband is a man who...
    1. Is a Christian first, and a husband second
    2. Gladly accepts the Biblical injunctions given to him as a husband
    3. Looks to the Word of God and prayer for the strength he needs to fulfill his duty
  3. When a man is a Christian husband...
    1. He is more likely loved and respected by his wife
    2. She is more likely the sort of wife she should be
    3. The children are more likely as they should be

In our next lesson, we shall consider the duties of wives. In the meantime, some additional food for thought for husbands...

The 10 Commandments of Husbands
  1. You shalt not take your wife for granted, but will honor and respect her as your equal. (1Pe 3:7)
  2. Your highest allegiance, except God, shall be to your wife, not relatives or friends. (Gen 2:24)
  3. You shall frequently tell her how important & valuable she is to you. (Php 2:3; Pr 31:10-11)
  4. You shall hold your wife's love by the same means that you won it. (So 5:10-16)
  5. You shall actively establish family discipline with your wife's help. (Ep 6:4)
  6. Remember to do all the little things for your wife when you say you will. (Mt 5:37)
  7. Keep your eyes on your own wife, not your neighbor's. (Pr 5:15-20; Job 31:1; Jer 5:8)
  8. You shall make every effort to see things from your wife's point of view. (Gen 21:12)
  9. You shall not fail to kiss your wife every morning. (So 8:1)
  10. You shall not be stingy with your wife when it comes to money. (Es 5:3)