"THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY"

Resolving Family Conflict

INTRODUCTION
  1. As mentioned in our first lesson, the family as an institution today is struggling...
    1. Husbands and wives often suffer strained relationships
    2. Parents and children are frequently at odds with one another
    3. Much misery in life is due to dysfunctional family relationships
  2. I believe that much family turmoil can be resolved...
    1. When we understand the areas and reasons for potential conflict
    2. When we are willing to take simple but profound actions

[Let's begin by reviewing common sources of marital and familial conflict...]

  1. CAUSES OF FAMILY CONFLICT
    1. MONEY...
      1. Most couples argue over bills, debt, spending, and other financial issues
      2. Parents and children argue over allowances, or the lack thereof
    2. CHILDREN...
      1. Discipline, diet, and other parenting issues can be sources of disagreement
      2. Having children can accentuate differences in beliefs on issues like how to discipline, who is responsible for most of the child care or what educational options to choose
    3. SEX...
      1. For spouses, frequency, quality, and infidelity are all common sources of disharmony
      2. Parents struggle in guiding children through land-minds in our sex-crazed culture
    4. CHORES...
      1. Many couples argue over equitable distribution of household work, and how to do it
      2. Instead of dividing household chores fairly they quibble over who did or didn't do what
    5. FRIENDS...
      1. What friends will be considered acceptable for spouses and children?
      2. Not all friends are helpful to relationships, some of them are toxic
    6. ENTERTAINMENT...
      1. What shall we do with our spare time? Where shall we go?
      2. Different interests can threaten family relationships
    7. RELIGION...
      1. What shall we believe? How shall we raise the children? What holidays shall we observe?
      2. Religious differences in religion can create much conflict in the family
    8. RELATIVES...
      1. In-laws, grandparents, siblings, step-children, etc., can all create stress within a family
      2. To what degree do we allow them to impact the nuclear family?
    9. EXPECTATIONS...
      1. We all go into marriage and family with certain expectations
      2. We expect spouses to be as mature as our parents, our standard of living equal to theirs
      3. Unmet expectations are a major source of conflict in marriages and families
    10. PERSONALITIES...
      1. There are personality traits and personal habits that can doom marriages and families
      2. Even adults can suffer from "childhood arrests", and behave like selfish children

      [This list is not exhaustive, but illustrates the challenges that families often face. Even so, I believe the solution is rather simple if we are willing to implement it...]

  2. RESOLVING FAMILY CONFLICT
    1. RELIGION IS THE KEY...
      1. Religious beliefs affect every area of potential conflict (children, money, friends, etc.)
      2. Agree on religion, and other problems will be easier to handle
      3. With God on your side you will have His blessing and providential aid!
      4. Ignore Him, and you face your troubles on your own!
    2. BEHAVE AS CHRISTIANS...
      1. Grow in the grace and knowledge of Christ
        1. Develop Christ-like qualities - cf. 2Pe 1:5-8
        2. Produce the fruit of the Spirit - cf. Ga 5:22-23
      2. Treat your family like brethren
        1. With lowliness, gentleness, longsuffering, forbearing with love - Ep 4:1-2; Php 2:3-4
        2. Just as loving brethren helps to ensure good days and answered prayers - cf. 1Pe 3:7-12
      3. Love your family like enemies
        1. Refuse to retaliate, respond with good - Mt 5:38-42
        2. Love your enemies, just as God loves you! - Mt 5:43-48
      4. It takes two to fight, so be the bigger person
        1. If one person does the right thing, differences quickly diffuse - cf. Pr 15:1
        2. Proper conduct more likely encourages the other person to do likewise
CONCLUSION
  1. With so many potential causes of family conflict...
    1. It is not surprising that many families are dysfunctional
    2. Leading many to mistakenly believe that marriage and family are outdated
  2. But when family members are willing to heed God's Word...
    1. Potential problems rarely arise
    2. Conflicts are quickly abated

The home and family as Christ would have it can be one of the most wonderful blessings in the world...!