"THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY"

The Tragedy Of Divorce

INTRODUCTION
  1. Our previous study listed many potential causes of family conflict that often...
    1. Strain the best of families
    2. Lead many to believe divorce is an easy solution
  2. In the Bible, we read that God hates divorce... - Mal 2:13-16
    1. It "covers one's garment with violence"
    2. It is "treacherous"

[For the past generation, quick and easy "no-fault" divorce has been available. We are just now learning of the long-term effects of divorce. It is not a pretty picture. Consider what studies have shown on...]

  1. THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON CHILDREN
    1. MENTALLY...
      1. Teenagers in single-parent families and in blended families are three times more likely to need psychological help within a given year. (Peter Hill Recent Advances in Selected Aspects of Adolescent Development Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry 1993)
      2. Compared to children from homes disrupted by death, children from divorced homes have more psychological problems. (Robert E. Emery, Marriage, Divorce and Children's Adjustment Sage Publications, 1988)
      3. The study of children six years after a parental marriage breakup revealed that even after all that time, these children tended to be lonely, unhappy, anxious and insecure". (Wallerstein, The Long-Term Effects of Divorce on Children - Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1991)
    2. SOCIALLY...
      1. Children of divorce, particularly boys, tend to be more aggressive toward others than those children whose parents did not divorce. (Emery, Marriage, Divorce and Children's Adjustment, 1988)
      2. Children of divorce are four times more likely to report problems with peers and friends than children whose parents have kept their marriages intact. (Tysse, Burnett, Moral Dilemmas of Early Adolescents of Divorced and Intact Families. Journal of Early Adolescence 1993)
      3. Seventy percent of long-term prison inmates grew up in broken homes. (Horn, Bush, Fathers, Marriage and Welfare Reform)
    3. ACADEMICALLY...
      1. Studies in the early 1980 divorces earned lower grades and their peers rated them as less pleasant to be around. (Andrew J. Cherlin, Marriage, Divorce, Remarriage Harvard University Press 1981)
      2. Children of divorced parents are roughly two times more likely to drop out of high school than their peers who benefit from living with parents who did not divorce. (McLanahan, Sandefur, Growing Up With a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps - Harvard University Press 1994)
    4. PHYSICALLY...
      1. Children living with both biological parents are 20 to 35 percent more physically healthy than children from broken homes. (Dawson, Family Structure and Children's Health and Well-being - Journal of Marriage and the Family)
      2. Following divorce, children are fifty percent more likely to develop health problems than two parent families. (Angel, Worobey, Single Motherhood and Children's Health)
      3. Children of divorce are at a greater risk to experience injury, asthma, headaches and speech defects than children whose parents have remained married. (Dawson, Family Structure and Children's Health and Well Being - National Health Interview Survey on Child Health, Journal of Marriage and the Family)
      4. Most victims of child molestation come from single-parent households or are the children of drug ring members. (Los Angeles Times 16 September 1985 The Garbage Generation)
      5. A child in a female-headed home is 10 times more likely to be beaten or murdered. (The Legal Beagle, July 1984, from The Garbage Generation)
      6. People who come from broken homes are almost twice as likely to attempt suicide than those who do not come from broken homes. (Velez-Cohen, Suicidal Behavior and Ideation in a Community Sample of Children Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry 1988)
    5. SPIRITUALLY...
      1. Religious worship, which has been linked to better health, longer marriages, and better family life, drops after the parents divorce. (Patrick Fagan, Ph.D. and Robert Rector, The Effects Of Divorce In America, June 2000)
      2. Many young people from divorced families "experience a loss of trust that affects their belief in God - making them overall much less religious than their peers from intact families," (Elizabeth Marquardt of the Institute for American Values and Professor Norval Glenn of the University of Texas, Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce)
      3. Children of divorce are also "much less likely to say their mother and father taught them how to pray and prayed with them - and are much more likely to say they doubt the sincerity of their parents' religious beliefs, do not share their parents' values, and to say there are things their parents have done that they find hard to forgive." (ibid.)

      [There is also the "sleeper effect", where adult children have a resurgence of anxiety, fear, guilt, and anger they had suppressed for many years. Truly, divorce is "treacherous"! But not just for children...]

  2. EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON SPOUSES
    1. MENTALLY...
      1. Men and women both suffer a decline in mental health following divorce, but researchers have found that women are more greatly affected. Some of the mental health indicators affected by divorce include depression, hostility, self-acceptance, personal growth and positive relations with others. (Nadine F. Marks and James D. Lambert, "Marital Status Continuity and Change among Young and Midlife Adults: Longitudinal Effects on Psychological Well-being," Journal of Family Issues 19, 1998)
      2. A recent study found those who were unhappy but stay married were more likely to be happy five years later than those who divorced. (Linda Waite and Maggie Gallagher, "The Case for Marriage" New York: Doubleday, 2000)
    2. PHYSICALLY...
      1. Life expectancies for divorced men and women are significantly lower than for married people (who have the longest life expectancies) (Robert Coombs, "Marital Status and Personal Well- Being: A Literature Review," 1991)
      2. The health consequences of divorce are so severe that a Yale researcher concluded that "being divorced and a nonsmoker is [only] slightly less dangerous than smoking a pack a day and staying married." (Harold J. Morowitz, "Hiding in the Hammond Report," 1975)
      3. After a diagnosis of cancer, married people are most likely to recover, while the divorced are least likely to recover, indicating that the emotional trauma of divorce has a long-term impact on the physical health of the body. (James S. Goodwin, William C. Hunt, Charles R. Key and Jonathan M. Sarmet, "The Effect of Marital Status on Stage, Treatment, and Survival of Cancer Patients," Journal of the American Medical Association 258, 1987)
    3. FINANCIALLY...
      1. Families with children that were not poor before the divorce see their income drop as much as 50 percent. Almost 50 percent of the parents with children that are going through a divorce move into poverty after the divorce. (Patrick Fagan, Ph.D. and Robert Rector, The Effects Of Divorce In America, June 2000)
      2. Studies show that women experiencing divorce face roughly a 30 percent decline in the standard of living they enjoyed while married and men show a 10 percent decline. The consistency of this finding caused one researcher to conclude: "However 'prepared' for marital disruption women increasingly may be, they are not prepared in ways sufficient to cushion the economic cost." (Pamela J. Smock, "The Economic Costs of Marital Disruption for Young Women over the Past Two Decades." Demography 30, 1993)
    4. SPIRITUALLY...
      1. Jesus taught there is only one ground for divorce and remarriage: fornication - Mt 19:9
      2. That divorce and remarriage for any other reason results in adultery - Mt 19:9
      3. Those who divorce their spouses for a reason other than fornication, cause them to commit adultery! - Mt 5:32
        1. Either by putting them in a situation where they are likely to commit fornication
        2. Or by putting them in a situation where they might enter an unscriptural marriage
      4. Those who commit fornication or adultery as a result of unlawful divorce or remarriage will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, unless they repent! - 1Co 6:9-11; Ga 5:19-21; He 13:4
CONCLUSION
  1. My purpose is not to pile guilt on those who are divorced...
    1. They know first-hand the terrible consequences of divorce on their families and themselves
    2. They need our understanding and help to make the best of a difficult situation
  2. My prayer is this lesson will serve as a cautionary tale...
    1. That divorce is a treacherous and violent act for all those involved
    2. We need to teach our children what God has spoken and society is still learning about divorce

May God help those suffering from the tragedy of divorce, and may God help us if we do not warn our families and our society of the terrible consequences of divorce...!