"SHEPHERDS OF THE FLOCK"

Their Qualifications - Familial Qualities

INTRODUCTION
  1. In examining the qualifications of elders, we began with some preliminary considerations...
    1. Whether a desire for the office is a necessary qualification
    2. The qualifications describe what an elder must be, not have been
    3. An elder (i.e., bishop, pastor) must be a man, not a woman
    4. An elder must be blameless; not perfect, but free from any provable charge
  2. A quick perusal of the qualifications (cf. 1Ti 3:1-7; Tit 1:5-9), reveal that elders must possess certain qualities related to several areas...
    1. Marriage and family
    2. Personal conduct
    3. Church and community

[In this lesson, we'll examine an elder's "Familial Qualities", qualifications that pertain to his family...]

  1. THE HUSBAND OF ONE WIFE
    1. THE REQUIREMENT...
      1. He "must be" the husband of one wife - 1Ti 3:2; Tit 1:6
        1. This rules out a polygamist
        2. It also rules out a single man
      2. Some interpret Paul to say "if one is married, he must be husband of one wife"
        1. Yet Paul does not say "if"
        2. He says an elder "must be" - 1Ti 3:2
      3. Disregard what Paul says, and we can teach anything
        1. Some say the bishop must be single (e.g., Roman Catholicism)
        2. Some say the bishop (pastor) can be single (e.g., many Protestant churches)
      4. Yet the scriptures say the bishop (pastor, elder) must be the husband of one wife!
        1. Shall we follow the commandments of God, or the traditions of men?
        2. Consider carefully the warnings of Mk 7:6-13; 2Jn 9
    2. SOME QUESTIONS...
      1. What about a widower?
        1. If his wife passes while he serves as an elder, should he resign?
        2. Remember that Paul describes what an elder "must be" (not have been)
        3. If a man is no longer the husband of one wife...
          1. He does not meet the qualifications laid down to become an elder
          2. If an elder, he no longer meets the qualifications of what an elder "must be"
      2. What about a digamist (a widower who has remarried)?
        1. He is certainly not a bigamist (husband of two wives)
        2. He has a right to remarry - cf. Ro 7:1-3
        3. He is presently the husband of one wife, which is what an elder must be
      3. What about one divorced and remarried?
        1. Presuming that he has been scripturally divorced and remarried - cf. Mt 19:9
        2. He is presently the husband of one wife, which is what an elder must be

        [Such questions might not be answerable with certainty. If one is to error, then let it be on the side of literalness, rather than looseness, when it comes to handling the Scriptures. Now let's consider...]

  2. THE ELDER AND HIS CHILDREN
    1. THE REQUIREMENTS...
      1. Ruling his own house well - 1Ti 3:4-5
        1. What this means
          1. "having his children in submission with all reverence"
          2. His children submit to his rule with respect
        2. Why this is necessary
          1. "if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?"
          2. It is indicative of one's potential to rule as an elder - cf. 1Ti 5:17; He 13:17
      2. Having faithful children - Tit 1:6
        1. What this means
          1. Either children who believe, or children who are faithful (trustworthy)
          2. Whether it means they must be Christians is discussed below
        2. Why this is necessary
          1. It reflects his ability to rule the house of God
          2. It reflects his fitness to oversee the children of God
      3. Not accused of dissipation or insubordination - Tit 1:6
        1. What this means
          1. dissipation (Gr., asotia) - an abandoned, dissolute life; profligacy, prodigality; indulgence in sensual pleasure
          2. insubordination (Gr., anupotaktos) - disobedient, unruly
        2. Why this is necessary
          1. Children so accused brings shame on their father - cf. Pr 28:7
          2. Such children bring doubt on a father's ability to rule his house - cf. 1Ti 3:5
    2. SOME QUESTIONS...
      1. Must the children be Christians?
        1. Consider the following translations:
          1. "having children that believe" (ASV)
          2. "whose children are believers" (NRSV)
          3. "having children who believe" (NASB)
          4. "whose children believe" (NIV)
          5. "whose children are well-trained and believers" (Amplified New Testament)
          6. "having children who are believers" (Wuest's Expanded Translation)
          7. "with children who believe" (Moffat)
        2. Consider the following Greek authorities:
          1. "one who has become convinced that Jesus is the Messiah and the author of salvation (a believer)" - Thayer
          2. "believing (in Christ), a (Christian) believer" - Arndt & Gingrich
          3. "believing children, or children that believe" - Vincent
          4. "believing children, or children who are believers" - Wuest
          5. "a believer, Christian" - Robinson
        3. Consider the following commentators:
          1. "brought up in the true Christian faith" - Henry
          2. "Believers, adorning the doctrine of the gospel by purity and obedience. There must be evidence that they have been brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." - Croskey, Pulpit Commentary
          3. "Paul wants only men who believing children, not men whose sons and whose daughters are still pagans. A handicap such as that would be too great for an elder." - Lenski
          4. "The apostle required that the children of him who was to be ordained a bishop should be Christians, and of a sober behavior; because the infidelity and vices of children, at least in the eyes of the vulgar, bring some blame on their parents. And therefore it is added, in the next verse, 'for a bishop must be blameless.'" - MacKnight
          5. "having children who share the Christian faith of their fathers and who adorn that faith with a godly conduct. A man whose children are still pagans or behave as pagans must not be appointed elder." - Hendriksen
          6. "It is not right or healthy for the elder to have pagan children. If the prospective elder accepted Christ late in life, he might not be at fault for the belief of his children, but he cannot ignore his relationship to them. If his children are pagan in their attitude and conduct, it will reflect on him and his service to Christ." - Dewelt
          7. If an officer should have unbelieving children, it might indicate that he was either careless as a Christian, or a recent convert; and if his children were insubordinate, it might indicate that the 'elder' lacked the ability to rule the 'household of God', the congregation of believers." - Erdman
        4. In summary, here are reasons to hold that "faithful children" means Christians:
          1. The testimony of translations, scholars, and commentators overwhelmingly favor it
          2. When a man's children are faithful Christians, there is good reason to believe that he has experience in...
            1. Raising others in the training and admonition of the Lord - cf. Ep 6:4
            2. Ruling in such a way that inspires both obedience and emulation
          3. When a man's children are not faithful Christians, there are lingering questions...
            1. Is he at fault, not having been careful to watch over his children?
            2. Has he had experience in raising others in the faith?
            3. Has he had experience in inspiring others to follow his example?
      2. Must there be a plurality of children?
        1. "Children" (Gr., tekna) literally means more than one child
        2. The plural (children) can sometimes be used to refer to the singular (child)
          1. This is known as plural of class, or the plural containing the singular
          2. Examples of this include Lk 20:28; 1Ti 5:4
          3. Paul appears to use it this way in 1Ti 5:10; Tit 2:4
          4. Leading some to conclude that an elder can have only one child
        3. Yet there are clear advantages to having more than one child
          1. Children are different, to which parents with multiple children can attest
          2. Raising multiple children requires dealing with diverse personalities, with challenging relationships and conflicts between them
          3. Having a plurality of children better qualifies a man for the challenge of leading a plurality of members in the church
          4. Having more than one child certainly removes any doubt that one has met the qualification of having "children"
      3. Must all of the children be Christians?
        1. Some argue an elder must have faithful children, but not all have to be Christians
          1. Literally, you could still say that he has "faithful children"
          2. Yet questions may remain as to why there are unfaithful children
        2. Some scenarios might be less troubling; for example:
          1. A man has four children
          2. The two older children are Christians
          3. The two younger haven't attained the age of accountability, but do have a childlike faith in God and Jesus
          4. To the degree the latter are accountable, are they not "faithful" as well (though not yet Christians)?
      4. What if a child becomes unfaithful away from home?
        1. To be consistent with the premise that the qualifications are those which must be present in an elder, an unfaithful child would disqualify an elder
        2. Can one reason that the father is no longer accountable when the child no longer lives under the same roof? My own thoughts:
          1. Does not the father-child relationship continue through life?
            1. I must still honor my parents - Ep 6:4
            2. I still bear responsibilities toward my parents - cf. 1Ti 5:4,8
          2. There would be the problem of demonstrating one's ability to watch over souls
            1. How do we know he is able, if his children are not faithful?
            2. The father may not be at fault, but who can know for sure?
          3. The only way an elder can serve free from distracting questions is if he continues to have "faithful children"
CONCLUSION
  1. Some questions may not be answerable to the degree of certainty; yet let it be clear...
    1. An elder must be the husband of one wife
    2. An elder must have faithful children
    3. An elder must rule his own house well, with children under subjection
  2. Where questions linger and doubts remain...
    1. Each congregation should strive resolve the issues to the satisfaction of all its members
    2. It does not hurt to err on the side of safety
    3. If possible, elders should be free from any doubts that would hinder their ability to serve